The second birthday without you - "would have been"s...

Dear Daughter, this is the second birthday without you. I visited your grave again, but this time I was not alone to savour the peace of being with you. I had to have a quarrel with the bloke decorating your grave. That was for your sake, but it should have been different. I hope you did not mind. I could not stay over because I was upset and it was too hot. Apologies...

You would have been 22 with a double major of molecular biology and dance. I would have felt tears roll down my cheeks watching you pick up the diplomas. You would have stepped towards me in your gown and introduced a crowd of new friends around. A young man would have been eyeing me up furtively at a distance, and finally making his way to me stretching a hand. You would have scheduled a short holiday in Cuba before taking up work at the research department of Pfizer. You would have hired a suitable hall and staff for the dance school long planned. I would have been somewhat uneasy for fear of not being able to see you often enough.