In performance...

In "Air", probably self-choreographed, probably 2002 or 2003, probably ISTANBUL

An album... (Hey members, why don't you publish any photos, sketches, drawings, or illustrations?)

At summer school, Univ. of Washington in St. Louis, Summer 2003
With Priya, St. Louis, Spring Break, 2004
With Soren in front of Hagia Sophia, ISTANBUL, March 2005
Candan, Daddy, and roomies in the Harris, Conn College, October 2004
With trophy for the Russian Dance, Tuzla/ISTANBUL, 19 May 2002
With Erik at closing dinner of summer school, Univ. of Washington in St. Louis, August 2003

Candan with roommates in those happy days...

Some day between 1 September and 22 December 2004, Connecticut College (her favourite pic with roomies)

Ne desem ki?

Ben iyi hissetmiyorum kendimi… İlk zamanlar şokun etkisinden miydi, yoksa gerekleri yerine getirmenin huzuru da mı vardı, kendimi bu trajik olayla başa çıkabilmiş gibi duyumsuyordum. Ne zaman ki Connecticut College’de Candan’ın anma töreninin DVD’sini izledim, o günden bu yana (yani bir aydır) ağırlık çöktü üzerime. Hepimiz rol yapıyoruz; hicbir şey gerçek değil, anlamlı değil gibi geliyor. Çökelmiş bir hüzün içindeyim ve dağılmıyor. Ne iş, ne tatil, ne eş dost, ne maneviyat – dağıtamıyor bu bungunluğu. Daha moralli yazabilmek dileğiyle…

Ballet recital as tribute to Candan...

Russian Dance, National
Dance Competition, May 2000

A ballet recital was staged by Neriman Ballet School to commemorate Candan on 11th June in Bursa. Candan had graduated from this school and danced as prima ballerina on several occasions. The last dance was dedicated to Candan. Ms. Neriman Bekiroglu, the proprietor of the School, did the choreography and took part in it personally - a break of principle after some fifteen years. The music was "Adagio" by Tommaso Albinoni. The dance was accompanied by a video show of Candan dancing the Blue Bird in The Sleeping Beauty. Ms. Bekiroglu gave a short speech on Candan after the dance. All on stage and the guests broke into tears. It was an emotional blow to me, but I had to be there. I shed tears throughout the recital, more than ever since the funeral.

Aslı Abla'dan ikinci mesaj...

Cenncenn’immmm......Ramfest de geçti gitti.Sen geldin yine aklıma.Tek tek geçti anılar gözümün önünden.O günlere döndüm...Sen geliosun Amerika’dan ve biz buluşuyoruz.Ne çok anlatacak şeyimiz var.Bitmiyor bir türlü.Üstelik araya alışverişi de sığdırmaya çalışıyoruz.Sen yine olanları anlatıcam derken yemeğini soğutuyosun.....Ben yine söyleniyorum sanaJSaatlerce konuşuyoruz.Hiç bıkmazdık Candan ya hiç sıkılmazdık.Sürekli anlatırdık,dinlerdik birbirimizi.....Okul kapanmadan önce IB lerin sınavları bitmişti.Ve gündüz herkes ders yaparken Ortaköy’e gitmek istemiştiniz.Gökçe ve sen...Tatlı belalar.Ben de alıp sizi İstiklal’e götürmüştüm.Götüren ben olmuştum ama gezdiren de siz olmuştunuz.O cafeyi hiç unutamıyorum.Muhteşemdi.Çok eğlenmiştik.Kendi locamızda yapmadığımız çılgınlık kalmamıştı.Fal bile baktırmıştık eğlencesine.Tabu oynamıştık.Saati unutmuştuk,sonra saate bakınca nasıl panik olduğumu hatırlıyorum.En çabuk nasıl gideriz hesapları yapmıştık.Öyle hızlı davranmıştık ki bir de Bostancı’da yemek yiyecek zaman kalmıştı.Biraz boğazımıza dizilmişti ama...Çok güzeldi.Seninle yaşadığım her an çok güzeldi....Seni çok ama çok özlüyorum bitanem.........Hep kalbimdesin.
ABLAN.....

Guitar and violin recital beside Candan...

The cemetery echoed with tunes from Özgür Sağlam's acoustic guitar and Seval Kadıoğlu's violin on Tuesday, 6th June. The duo performed a brilliant interpretation of the following beside Candan:

1. Waltz in A minor (Frederic Chopin)
2. Cantabile for Guitar and Violin (Niccolo Paganini)
3. "Polo" and "Nana" from Spanish Suite No. 2 (Manuel de Falla)
4. Un Dia de Noviembre (Leo Brouwer)

The last piece, originally a film music by the Cuban composer, was rearranged by the duo themselves for guitar and violin. So we had the world premiere to bless Candan's soul.

Thanks to Özgür and Seval for taking the trouble to realize this and to Sezen who made the organization.

I hope you have enjoyed this, my dear daughter. I love you and miss you!

Candan and grandparents...

Candan and grandparents on the way to Marmaris, Marmaris (June 2004) - Candan had just had her last swim -

Kuzen

Kuzen...
Aslinda annemin kuzeninin kizisin.. Ama sen benim kuzen diye tanimladigim bir kisiydin.. Kuzendik biz.. Birlikte buyuduk..
Ayri sehirlerde yasamanin verdigi ayriliga ragmen birlikte gecirdigimiz vakitler hicte kucumsenecek kadar az degil. Cocuklugumuzda gulduk eglendik. Yaramazliklar da yaptik. ;)
Merak etme anlatmiycam... ;)
Ben hala algilayabilmis degilim... Dusunemedigim bir kavram yokluk.
Hayata atildiktan sonra koptuk. Sen de bilirsin hayat mucadelesinin zorlugunu. Yurtdisinda Turk olmayi, basarilarin bogazina dizilmesini, daha ileriye gitmeyi. Bunlari konusamadik, kosuyorduk, hayatimizi kurmaya calisiyorduk. Ayri kaldik, ama eminim ki bildik, duyduk, sorduk birbirimizi...

Sen kuzen gitmedin bir yerlere... Oralardasin ve eminim ki basarmaya devam ediyorsun.
Sevgiler...

Yasin

Candan's special relationship with my father...

Yes, Jill, Candan had a very similar mind-set and character to my father's, and indeed they got on admirably well. A photo of the two will soon appear on the site!

Candan's lasts and firsts ... (published in Turkish already)

Candan’s last …

- word: “Bismillahirrahmanirrahim”, 11 March 2006, ANKARA
- swim: Hisarönü / MARMARIS, June 2004
- residence: Portakal Çiçeği Sokak, 42/3 ÇANKAYA/ANKARA
- face-to-face conversation partner (excluding the parents and the medical personnel): Esin Boztaş (in her room at Hacettepe Hospital), 10 March 2006, ANKARA

- film go: Harry Potter, Goblet of Fire, November 2005, Armada, ANKARA
- dance performance: Connecticut College, December 2004, NEW LONDON/ABD
- ballet seen on stage: Don Quixote (Ankara State Opera and Ballet), May 2005, ANKARA
- day on soother: 1 March 1987, BURSA
- skiing: January 2004, Uludağ, BURSA
- soccer match watched in a stadium: Fenerbahçe-Çaykur Rizespor, January 2004, Şükrü Saraçoğlu Stadium, ISTANBUL (also the first)
- basketball game watched in a hall: Turkey - Lithuania, May 2003, Abdi İpekçi Arena, ISTANBUL
- cell phone message (to me): “Pepperidge farm soft baked chocolatechip cookie”, 28 January 2006, 12:38:23, ANKARA (about a cookie she wanted me to find – alas!)

Candan’s first …

- word: “Baba”, 28 February 1986, BURSA (meaning “father” – said to have uttered the word even before)
- swim: Karaincir Beach, 22 August 1986, BODRUM
- unassisted swim with a life vest: Gendarme Camp, 10 October 1986, SIDE
- residence: 35. Sokak, Ayduk Apartmanı, Daire:1 EMEK/ANKARA
- ballet lesson: Neriman Ballet Course, September 1989, BURSA
- ballet performance: Ahmet Vefik Paşa Tiyatrosu, as one of the chicks in “Ali Baba’s Farm”, June 1990, BURSA
-ballet seen on stage: The Nutcracker (Istanbul State Opera and Ballet), 1989, ISTANBUL
- sight of snow: 18 January 1986, BURSA
- voluntary balloon bursting: 18 January 1986, BURSA
- sling: 19 January 1986, KÜLTÜRPARK/BURSA
- tooth: Bottom right, 25 February 1986, BURSA
- unassisted steps holding furniture (for want of the exact word): 27 May 1986, BURSA
- unassisted, hands-off steps: Towards mum, 10 June 1986, BURSA
- walk around: 29 July 1986, BURSA
- going to the nursery: Özel Minik Kreş, 1 July 1986, BURSA
- stay outside home in the absence of parents: At the nursery teacher Emel Üskardeş’s, 4 June 1989, BURSA
- television programme recording: “Adam Olacak Çocuk”, 11 June 1989, Galatasaray High School, ISTANBUL
- serious illness: Fever and diarrhoea, 3 July 1986, BURSA
- travel abroad (and flight): To Helsinki, Finland under CISV programme, June 1996
- soccer match watched in a stadium: Fenerbahçe-Çaykur Rizespor, January 2004, Şükrü Saraçoğlu Stadium, ISTANBUL (also the last)